the search is over…

October 26, 2009 | Category: Uncategorized | 3 Comments

maybe.

I have my first therapy session tonight. I’ve been searching for someone to talk to for a very long time. Try explaining to someone over the phone why you want to talk to someone. I try and make it brief..well you know, cancer, sick blah blah…usually ends with..wow, well, um…yeah, you should call (insert anyone but the person I called). About 9 places later, I have my first session tonight. The therapist seemed overly excited (I’ve never met anyone like you before! join the club lady…), but she seems nice and sweet. She generally sits with people who are actually dealing with cancer, not people who have been misdiagnosed, but nonetheless I imagine a lot of the emotions are the same.

I’m actually kind of excited, I think it’s going to be good for me. Though paying for it is going to suck.

This entry sticks. sorry.

3 Comments | Permalink

Am I 89 or 29?

October 21, 2009 | Category: Uncategorized | 2 Comments

Here is my issue of the year: take my medicine, to not be in pain everyday and be bald or not take my medicine, be in pain and have hair.

What to do? It’s so shallow to be like “I woudl rather be in pain than bald”, but I mean, I’d rather be in pain than bald.

I’ll never be 100%, there’s always going to be some underlying annoying issue to deal with.

2 Comments | Permalink

I don’t want to remember

October 16, 2009 | Category: Uncategorized | 1 Comment

I took it upon myself to google different variations of my name/nickname and I came across a thread my friend started on a board about when I got sick. Everyone had their ways of discussing what was going on and a lot of people didn’t really talk directly to ME about it. However, reading over that thread about cancer and just being able to tell how worried and bummed out he was really made me think. You know what’s weird? Last year doesn’t even seem real. Whatever happened, it’s a blur. I don’t even remember all the times I went to the hospital. I actually boggles my mind how much time I spent staring at a wall. I mean, there’s only so much tv/internet one can take. I just sat there. Sitting. Doing nothing. That is the craziest thing to me. I get bored so easily, I guess I really must have been ill.

I know this all seems pretty stupid, but I am so unbelievably disconnected from this whole thing that it doesn’t seem like me. I knew a girl once, a friend, who got sick and went through some shit and now she’s ok-ish. I just hope she doesn’t have to go through anything like that again.

1 Comment | Permalink

Remember me?

October 14, 2009 | Category: Uncategorized | 2 Comments

Yup, I’m alive. It’s OCTOBER! I haven’t updated since August? Wow, that’s really something else. I have a few things to update you on and overall it’s all good news. My life has been pretty normal as of late, which I am very happy to report. I haven’t had hives, fevers or crazy blood explosions. I actually went to my NEW Dr. Lupus and she told me I looked great and that she’d see me in 2 months. My reaction was more like a cartoon with my eyes popping out of my head! I haven’t heard that kind of reaction from a doctor in ages.

Also, I don’t have a single doctor at Tufts anymore. Every single doctor, EVERY SINGLE ONE, has left and gone elsewhere. Do you think I should have taken the hint? Wow. Do you know how many doctors I had?? I basically ran Tufts out of business. Go me!

In the other big news, DINKSTOCK 2 is happening in a month. One Month from today.

I will update more and be way less of a slacker. I just needed a break. It was too much to come here.

2 Comments | Permalink

dear 4:30am…

August 14, 2009 | Category: Uncategorized | 1 Comment

you’re not the time for me to be going to bed. you’re very early and you allow me very little time to catch zzzz’s. Once again, closing down the model was a seemingly bad idea.

Thank you weekend for being now.

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About

Hello. My name is Danielle (Dink to my friends). On 09/02/08 I was diagnosed with Hodgkins Lymphoma. This blog is a place to keep friends and family updated on how I feel, treatment, and life in general.